URGENT DISPATCH FROM SHERIFF SMITHNOSKY
Dan “Mad Dog” Gilbert became a made man in the Lucido Crime Family of Orange County over three decades ago. His calm demeanor in the face of adversity and steely disposition have allowed him to rise to the rank of Captain, a position of power he has used to further his own personal agenda by committing one heinous crime after another. His list of transgressions is longer than my….well…it’s long. Most recently Mad Dog is suspected of Reckless Santa Endangerment with a Harley Davidson Motorcycle, a Class C felony in 47 states and Puerto Rico. He must be brought to justice.
Intel gathered by undercover agents Sugar, Coco, and Harley (working in tandem on the inside for a combined 28 years) suggests that Mad Dog has called a meeting of the entire Lucido Crime Family on Christmas Day, to be held at his McMansion in Canyon Crest. While a few of his henchmen, such as Consigliere Joey “Lucky Pierre” Lucido (suspected himself in the robbing of 15 Las Vegas Casinos), are likely to remain in hiding, most of the family, including the Matriarch Joan “Hop-A-Long” Lucido, will undoubtedly attend. The gathering is being heralded as the “Fourth annual, absolutely, positively, last Christmas at Dan’s house,” and members of the family are expected to begin arriving at 12pm.
If you are receiving this communiqué your assistance is required, even demanded, in bringing this merry band of felons to justice. Too long have they run roughshod over the good people of California, Texas, and New Hampshire. This could be our last chance. Their reign of terror must be stopped.
